


Apricot Kisses

by thefiveboxingwizards



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - No Graduation Kiss (Check Please!), Getting Together, M/M, Not Beta Read
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-10
Updated: 2020-05-10
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:15:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24110419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thefiveboxingwizards/pseuds/thefiveboxingwizards
Summary: “Is this thing we’re doing exclusive? Because my Screw date is pretty hot.”Jack has been staring at the text from Bitty for the last five minutes, unsure how to respond. Jack, despite every fiber in him screaming for him to tell Bitty he cannot fuck his Screw date, knows there is only one way for him to respond if he doesn’t want to be an asshole.“That’s fine.”_____Or: Bitty and Jack accidentally become fuck buddies.
Relationships: Eric "Bitty" Bittle/Jack Zimmermann
Comments: 35
Kudos: 283





	1. Apricot Kisses

**Author's Note:**

> So this story started as a sort of meta for myself about Jack and just how oblivious he is to his own feelings and then turned into 7,000 words of borderline smut… 👀 and a Bob doesn’t say anything AU
> 
> A bit of the meta that inspired this:  
> We know that Jack is an oblivious idiot who didn’t realize he had been in a relationship with Camilla until after the relationship was over because Ngozi talked about it somewhere (in an extra or on her twitter or something). Probably based on Jack’s dismissiveness when he talks about his relationship with Kent, he was an oblivious idiot back in juniors too, and didn’t realize he and Kent were dating then either… (and still doesn’t realize how significant the relationship was? Don’t @ me I am NOT a Parse stan. I ship Parson with therapy and no one else. I just mean that it was his first relationship yet he’s dismissive of it? That doesn’t really make sense to me. Either Jack’s intentionally undercutting the significance of his relationship with Kent or—and I think this is more likely—he’s an idiot who’s out of touch with his feelings.) 
> 
> If all of this is true, that begs the question: How likely do you think it is that Bitty and Jack might have fallen into bed together at some point and become fuck buddies if Bob hadn’t said anything?

“Is this thing we’re doing exclusive? Because my Screw date _is_ pretty hot.”

Jack has been staring at the text from Bitty for the last five minutes, unsure how to respond. Jack, despite every fiber in him screaming for him to tell Bitty he cannot fuck his Screw date, knows there is only one way for him to respond if he doesn’t want to be an asshole.

“That’s fine.”

* * *

It starts on a Saturday afternoon in mid September. 

Jack should be mentally preparing for his game tonight, but instead he’s playfully tickling Bitty’s feet as Bitty tries to study for his French quiz on Monday. It took a little convincing, but, with the promise of a Viking oven and help with his French, Jack was able to persuade Bitty to visit him for the weekend.

Bitty lets out a breathless gasp and kicks out his foot. “Jack, stop, I can’t breathe.”

Bitty’s shirt has risen several inches, and Jack’s eyes lock onto the exposed skin above his shorts. Without thought Jack’s hands move on from Bitty’s feet to instead assail his sides.

Bitty arches his back and gasps, “Jack,” and his shirt rides up even further. His eyes are screwed shut and his face is flushed red. He is breathless, and gorgeous, and Jack _wants_. 

Jack’s mindless hands continue up Bitty’s torso without Jack’s input, and Jack finds his thumbs brushing against Bitty’s nipples.

“Jack.” 

His name is a moan on Bitty’s lips and Jack wants to taste it, to inhale it, to sustain himself with every gasp of his name exhaled through those lips.

“Ja—”

It tastes like apricots. Or maybe that’s just the jam Bitty made. Whatever the case, the kiss is heaven. He pinches one of Bitty’s nipples and Bitty moans into his mouth again. Jack eats it up. Cradles it with his tongue.

Bitty’s hands trail up his arms and settle on his biceps. His left leg trails up Jack’s thigh and hooks around his hips. He pulls Jack down and Jack gratefully settles between Bitty’s legs.

Now he’s gasping into Bitty’s mouth as he grinds Bitty down into the couch.

His right hand trails down Bitty’s sides and settles on his shorts-clad crotch. “Is this okay?” he asks with a nip of Bitty’s lips.

“Yes,” Bitty gasps with a thrust of his hips. His hands fly down to Jack’s jeans and he says, “you too.”

Jack nods, and Bitty frees him from his jeans. 

Their hands fly against each other as they breathe each other’s air. And with two consecutive shudders they make a mess of Bitty’s exposed chest. 

Awareness slowly trickles back into Jack’s brain, and Jack realizes that his phone’s alarm is blaring from the coffee table next to them. 

“Oh,” He says quietly, “I gotta get to the rink.” He zips his pants up and sheepishly looks down at Bitty. He looks gorgeous and fucked out, and in no way suitable to leave Jack’s apartment anytime soon. “Euh, do you want to shower?”

Bitty laughs breathily and says, “I’ll see you after the game. I’ll take an Uber.”

* * *

“Nice hatty.” Bitty is leaning against the wall opposite the locker room door.

“Must have been my afternoon nap,” Jack chirps.

“Is that so?”

“Or maybe the apricots,” Jack says and flicks his gaze down to Bitty’s mouth.

Bitty licks his lips and says, “It _was_ good jam.”

  
  


After the most sexually charged drive of Jack’s life, he presses Bitty against his front door and crashes their mouths together. Jack cradles the back of Bitty’s head with one hand and locks the door with the other.

“Can I blow you?”

“Good lord in heaven, can you—Yes!”

  
  


Bitty twines his fingers through Jack’s hair and tries not to thrust his hips. Jack can hear the back of Bitty’s head hit the door when Bitty tightens his grip and he warns, “Jack, I’m close.”

Jack tries to redouble his efforts but Bitty pushes him off and pulls him up for a kiss. Between their kisses Bitty says, “You. Naked. Bed. Now.”

Jack grips Bitty’s thighs and lifts, and Bitty’s legs wrap around Jack’s waist. He carries Bitty to his bedroom and Bitty’s kisses trail down Jack’s jaw and neck and turn into nips and licks.

  
  


“So, I guess you aren’t straight?” Bitty whispers into the dark. His fingers trail against Jack’s arm.

Jack tightens his grip against Bitty’s naked chest, pulls him in, and presses a laugh into the back of Bitty’s neck. Quietly, he says, “Yeah.”

* * *

They don’t talk about it, but it becomes a thing. Skype calls that devolve into Skype sex, dirty Snapchats sent from hotel bathrooms and received in a rundown dorm room, and French lessons that turn into French kisses.

  
  


“I still haven’t spent one weekend at your place, but I learned from Lardo today that Bitty’s been there three times already? What gives, Jack?” Shitty asks over Skype in late October. “I’m free this weekend. Let me come over!”

“Euh, I already promised Bitty—”

“That’s awesome! I’ll ask Lards if she’s free and we can make it a thing!”

* * *

Shitty follows Jack into the kitchen the evening of their hangout and says to him, “Hey, Jack, so you know how Lardo and I spent a lot of time together over the summer?”

Jack hums in assent as he grabs a few more beers from the fridge.

Shitty continues, “Well, I wanted to see if you’d mind if Lardo and I shared the guest room. Since, uh, well, we haven’t put any labels on it or anything, but…” Shitty trails off and ends with a shrug and a dopey smile.

Jack smiles back, hands Shitty a fresh beer and says, “I’m happy for you man. Yeah, that’s fine.” 

“You don’t mind sharing your bed with Bitty instead of me?”

Jack laughs. “Unlike you, Bitty knows when to keep his clothes on.” Jack smiles to himself, pleased that he won’t even have to come up with an excuse to get Bitty into his room. 

* * *

“How did you manage this arrangement?” Bitty whispers into Jack’s room that evening after gently shutting and locking the door.

Jack shakes his head and says, “That was all Shitty. Apparently he and Lardo are… something.”

“Huh, I did wonder. Good for them,” Bitty responds with a smile. He walks over to where Jack is sitting on the edge of his bed and settles himself in Jack’s lap.

“He asked me if I’d mind sharing a bed with you,” Jack says into Bitty’s neck.

“And what did you say?”

Jack laughs and pulls back to grin up at Bitty’s face. “I told him you actually know when to keep your clothes on.”

Bitty smiles, grinds down on Jack’s lap, and says, “I also know when to take them off.”

  
  


“You’re a much preferable naked sleeping partner than Shitty,” Jack whispers into Bitty’s hair after they’ve both come their brains out.

* * *

Jack is sitting miserably, alone in his apartment while Bitty is prancing around in an absolutely indecent puck bunny costume at the hockey team’s Halloween party.

Jack wants to fuck Bitty in that costume, be fucked by Bitty in that costume, do anything and everything with Bitty while he wears that costume.

“A puck bunny,” Jack texts Bitty.

He gets a winking emoji in response.

Jack’s next text, “Bring that costume next time you visit,” elicits a blushing emoji for his troubles.

Jack’s phone lights up again. “I could sneak out of the party early if someone wants to come pick me up?”

He’s sending Bitty his ETA before he’s even fully pulled his shoes on.

* * *

“What do you think?” Bitty asks once he’s settled into the passenger seat of Jack’s truck. He runs his hands down his chest and slowly unzips the costume until his entire abdomen is exposed. 

“ _Crisse_ ,” Jack curses and bites his lips. “Are you even wearing underwear?” He asks.

Bitty grabs Jack’s right hand and brings it down into the shorts of his costume. Jack’s hand wraps around Bitty’s dick and Bitty moans.

Jack grits out a “fuck” through his teeth before leaning over to take Bitty’s mouth with his own. He pumps his fist a few times and Bitty exhales his own breathy “fuck” against Jack’s mouth. 

“I should go in there and fight everyone who saw you like this,” Jack says.

Bitty only laughs in reply.

  
  


Jack wipes his hand clean with a spare napkin and Bitty leans over the center console to attempt to free Jack’s dick from his sweatpants.

“Ah, Bits,” Jack hisses. “I was kind of hoping to get us back to my apartment sometime soon.”

Bitty hums and strokes Jack through his pants a few times before leaning back and putting his seatbelt on with a pout.

  
  


They're about ten minutes outside Samwell when Bitty’s hand wanders back over to Jack’s lap.

“Bits,” Jack warns.

“What?” Bitty croons.

“I’m driving,” he hisses as Bitty pulls the waistband of Jack’s pants down and exposes his dick.

“Keep your eyes on the road then.”

Bitty strokes Jack back to full hardness then asks, “Has anyone ever given you road head?”

“ _Crisse!_ ” Jack tightens his grip on the steering wheel and unconsciously spreads his legs as much as he can.

“Well?”

“Keep your seatbelt on.”

Bitty maneuvers the strap of the seatbelt over his head and leans over the center console until he’s faced with Jack’s cock. “ _Well?_ ” he asks again.

“No,” Jack answers. And with Jack’s answer, Bitty’s lips find their home around Jack.

  
  


When they’re back at Jack’s apartment, Bitty fucks Jack into his mattress while his costume falls off his shoulders. The joint effort in the destruction of Bitty’s costume is well worth the loss of said costume.

* * *

“Zimmboni! Come here! Interview for Falcs TV, _da?_ ” Tater boisterously calls Jack over in the Nook the Monday following Halloween. “Zimmboni is having good Halloween,” Tater tells the camera with a wink and a smirk as Jack walks over. “ _Da_ , Zimmboni? You is having good Halloween?”

“Yeah, I had a good Halloween.”

Tater nods and hums in agreement before turning back to the camera and saying, “I’m knowing Zimmboni is having good Halloween because Zimmboni also is having… hickeys!” He yanks Jack’s t-shirt collar to the side to expose the few small hickeys Bitty left on Jack’s shoulder. 

“Tater!” Jack shouts with a glare, and his hand flies up to cover the marks on his skin. His cheeks flush slightly.

“Is Zimmboni having secret girlfriend?”

“Tater you know I’m not dating anyone,” Jack says. This denial pricks at Jack’s mind and feels like a lie, but he knows it’s not. He and Bitty have never made anything official. Bitty has never expressed a desire for more.

“Oh, so Zimmboni play trick or treat with puck bunny then?”

Jack flushes even more at this. “ _Crisse_ , Tater, I’m leaving.”

The group text blows up after Tater’s Falcs TV segment goes up that evening.

* * *

**Samwell Men’s Hunky Team**

**Shitty**

I am so motherfucking proud of you! You beautiful canadian motherfucker!!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ

**Nursey**

Yoooo! Nice!

**Shitty**

DEETSDEETSDEETSDEETSDEETSDEETSDEETSDEETS

**Lardo**

Jack isn’t the only one who got some on Halloween! I caught Bitty doing a walk of shame Sunday morning! He claimed he was coming back from the LIBRARY! As if this dude has ever studied a day in his life!

**Holster**

Fun fact about Bitty: if his excuse involves the library, it’s probably a lie!!!!

**Ransom**

rEMEMBER WHEN HE SAID HE WAS BAKING A PIE IN THE LIBRARU!!

**Holster**

Library? More like LIE-brary!

**Chowder**

Congrats Jack!! Congrats Bitty!! Unless you really were studying, then: I’m proud of you!

**Dex**

How did Bitty’s library pie excuse go over?

Congrats on the sex Jack (i guess)

**Holster**

Immediately called out on it by Jack, but he’d already run off.

**Ransom**

He didn’t even run in the direction of the library.

**Bittle**

Would y’all quit chirping me about that damn library pie already?

**Nursey**

So what sort of studying were you doing in the library on a Sunday morning Bitty??

**Bittle**

That’s the only time the French tutor is available for your information.

**Lardo**

French kissing tutor maybe

**Bittle**

I wish y’all would let me LIVE

**Shitty**

Okay, I absolutely want deets on Bits’ Halloween hookup but I am dyiinngg for Jack to respond. Jacky please where are you!?

**Jack**

Don’t suppose you’d buy it if I said I gave myself a hickey?

**Shitty**

Nice try. Do you have a secret girlfriend?!

**Jack**

Why would I have a secret girlfriend?

**Shitty**

Why would you keep tight-lipped about your Halloween hookup? HOLY SHIT IS SHE FAMOUS!?

**Ransom**

YOOOOO Jack can I get your girlfriend’s autograph!!?

**Lardo**

Bitty does Jack have a secret girlfriend?

**Bittle**

Why are you asking me???

**Lardo**

You spend the most time over at Jack’s. If anyone would know if he has a secret girlfriend it’s you.

**Shitty**

That is a very good point my lady Lards. Bits have you noticed any ladies underwear laying around?

**Bittle**

Maybe Jack likes wearing thongs…

**Shitty**

THERE HAVE BEEN THONGS???

**Jack**

Bittle… 

**Bittle**

Kaldjfkalfjewaof I’m just messing around! Of course there haven’t been any thongs.

**Nursey**

I don’t know now I kinda think there are thongs. John Tucker Must Die anyone? Maybe Jack got tricked into wearing them

**Lardo**

Ajkfhewakfjealkf Absolutely living, thank you Nursey

**Bittle**

If Jack wears thongs I am unaware of it.

**Shitty**

Forget about the thongs! Is Jack dating anyone?!

**Bittle**

No, not that I’m aware of. Must have been a puck bunny like Tater said

**Shitty**

Jack???

**Jack**

What?

**Shitty**

Well did you give yourself those hickeys or did a puck bunny give them to you? Or do you have a secret gf?

**Nursey**

Were you wearing one of your thongs when you gave yourself the hickeys?

**Jack**

It was a blue thong, yes

**Lardo**

Afelkjaffhjakfjeklfje I hope you know I’m buying you thongs for christmas now.

**Jack**

Thank you Lards. My secret celebrity girlfriend will really appreciate it!

**Shitty**

JAAAACK

**Jack**

SHIIITS

**Shitty**

☹️

**Jack**

😃

**Shitty**

Did you hook up with a puck bunny?

**Jack**

🏒🐇

**Shitty**

YES!

**Lardo**

Here’s the real question of the hour: did you try on your puck bunny’s thong?

**Jack**

My puck bunny wasn’t wearing any underwear.

**Holster**

HOLY

**Ransom**

!!!!!

**Holster**

FUCKING

**Nursey**

Yo! Chill

**Holster**

SHIT

**Dex**

Yeah, that’s pretty hot

**Chowder**

Nice Jack!!!

**Shitty**

I am broken. Jack you’ve broken me! How did you? Holy shit!

**Lardo**

Maybe I’ll buy some thongs for your puck bunny too…

**Nursey**

Hold on. Where did Bitty go? He still hasn’t told us about his Halloween hookup

* * *

**Bittle**

Ngl the visual of you in a blue thong is uhh working for me

What shade of blue should I ask Lardo to buy?

Afjkewfawkfjwalf 

I don’t know if Victoria’s Secret carries that shade

Does Victoria’s Secret even carry your size?

Ass the size of Jupiter and a dick to match

Haha. Thanks.

* * *

Jack is unable to see Bitty in person for the majority of November. He sustains himself on Skype sex and dirty Snapchats, but it isn’t enough. His fingertips ache to touch Bitty again, to trail lightly against his skin, to brush over every sensitive spot Jack has come to know, and the ones he’s yet to find. His lips ache to follow in the wake of his fingers. His body itches to press against Bitty. He wants to hold every gasp and moan in his mouth and slip his soul into Bitty’s.

He asks Bitty one evening over Skype what his plans are for Thanksgiving break. He’s hoping Bitty might be interested in spending the break with him.

“I’m staying up here. Been planning Hausgiving for the boys who are also gonna be here. Lord, Jack, let me tell you about this sweet potato pie recipe I found!”

“Can I come?” Jack interrupts. Going to Hausgiving might be Jack’s only chance to see Bitty before November ends.

“To Hausgiving? Yeah, of course. You don’t have any better offers?”

Jack hums and says consideringly, “Marty invited me to his place, but… I don’t know. I think I would be awkward.”

Bitty laughs. “Well, hon, you’re always invited to Hausgiving.”

* * *

Jack drives up to Samwell early Thanksgiving morning to help Bitty cook the turkey. The Haus is loud when he walks in. It feels like it should, like home. Jack feels comfort wash over him until he registers what exactly these loud idiots are saying. Or, more specifically, what one loud idiot is saying.

“Bitty, you are running out of time! All the good Screw dates are gonna be gone by the time everyone is back from break! You have to let us help you pick someone?” Holster shouts from the kitchen. He locks eyes with Jack when Jack enters the kitchen, and he continues, “Jack! Good! I’m glad you’re here! Tell Bitty he has to let Rans and I help him find a date for Screw.”

“Why can’t Bitty find his own date?” Jack asks.

Bitty huffs and hunches over the stuffing he’s preparing.

“Because he isn’t looking for a date!” Holster cries exasperatedly. “You know he’s still denying he hooked up with anyone on Halloween? I told him he should just ask that dude to go to Screw with him, and he says, ‘there was no dude.’ Fucking outrageous. Was he ugly, Bitty? That’s the only reason I can think of for why you’d want to hide him. OH! Shit, is he dating someone? Did some dude cheat on someone else with you?”

Bitty shoots Holster a glare over his shoulder and mouths “help me” to Jack.

Jack shrugs, makes a helpless face, and says, “If you want Holster off your back it sounds like you have to let him find a date for you.” 

Bitty’s glare briefly lands on Jack before he slams his hands on the counter and turns around to face Jack and Holster fully. “Fine! Y’all want me to go to Winter Screw with someone so bad? Fine! Find me a damn date Holster!”

“Yes!” Holster cheers. “You will not regret this Bits! Now tell me, on a scale of 1-10 how close were Rans and I to finding your type with Rugby Dude?”

Bitty sighs and turns back to the counter to angrily chop carrots. “I don’t know? Maybe like… 8?”

“8? That’s pretty damn good! I’ll go tell Rans so he can pull up Excel! Thanks for the assist, Jack.” Holster pats Jack’s shoulder as he leaves the kitchen.

“Euh, what can I help with?” 

“Don’t you worry your pretty little head, Jack Zimmermann. You just make yourself comfortable, and I’ll call y’all in when dinner’s ready.” Now it’s an onion that’s meeting it’s demise at the end of Bitty’s angry knife.

“I only came over here this early so I could help you—”

“Fine. Finish this onion.” Bitty hands Jack the knife and side steps him to leave the kitchen. He resolutely refuses to look up at Jack the entire time.

Jack is confused about Bitty’s mood to say the least, but after only a few minutes Bitty is back downstairs and chipper as ever.

The rest of the day goes off without a hitch and Jack and Bitty sneak up to Bitty’s room when the only people left in the Haus are Ransom and Holster. 

Jack leans down to kiss Bitty once he’s buried to the hilt in him, but Bitty turns his face to the side. Bitty gently pushes Jack off him and turns around to kneel on his bed. 

“Yeah?” Jack asks as he strokes Bitty’s ass with his hands.

Bitty nods and Jack slides back in. Bitty buries his face in his pillow to muffle his moans and Jack wishes they were at his apartment so Bitty wouldn’t have to hide his sounds.

  
  


Jack moves to cuddle Bitty after they’ve both come, but Bitty pushes him off and tells him it’s late so he should probably head home.

* * *

**Samwell Men’s Flunky Team**

**Holster**

Rans and I fucking did it! It took us a week and a half but we did it!

We found the perfect Screw date for Bitty!

If Bitty doesn’t get laid I will eat my fucking shoe!

**Shitty**

Damn cutting it pretty close there boys. Isn’t Screw this weekend? Why’d you wait so long?

**Ransom**

Bitty told us he would find his own date

**Shitty**

Oh, then what was wrong with the date Bitty found for himself?

**Holster**

He didn’t exist. Bitty wasn’t looking for a date.

**Shitty**

Dude, Bits, it’s screw! You gotta have a date!

**Holster**

It’s all good Jack convinced him to let Ransy and I pick his date!

**Lardo**

Alright so what’s this guaranteed lay of a date like?

**Ransom**

HOT

**Holster**

He’s on the soccer team!

**Ransom**

Abs for days

**Holster**

His Instagram is just a thirst trap

**Lardo**

Alsjdkw does he have a personality to go with those abs?

**Nursey**

Does it matter? Lol it’s Screw not marriage

**Dex**

Stfu Nurse we’re talking about Bitty of course it matters

**Nursey**

It’s just a hookup poindorkster. Bitty doesn’t need to like him to make out with him and touch his dick

**Chowder**

Great job finding Bitty a date!! What do you think of him Bitty?

**Bittle**

He’s hot. 

**Lardo**

You gonna hook up with him? Holster’s shoe is on the line here

**Bittle**

¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

**Holster**

Bits don’t do me like that!! Rans and I worked hard to find you a date! If you don’t get some ass I WILL CRY!

**Lardo**

And eat your shoe

**Holster**

AND EAT MY SHOE

DONT MAKE ME EAT MY SHOE!

* * *

**Bittle**

Is this thing we’re doing exclusive? Because my Screw date IS pretty hot

That’s fine.

* * *

Jack groans audibly into his shared hotel room and Tater asks what’s wrong as he steps out of the bathroom.

Jack sighs heavily and runs his fingers through his hair and over his face. “Nothing Tater.”

“You need get laid! Come to bar with me and Snowy after game tonight. We find Zimmboni nice puck bunny.”

Jack groans again and says, “I’m fine.”

“You no look fine, Zimmboni! No worries. Me and Snowy have Zimmboni back.”

  
  


Jack plays like shit and Tater and Snowy refuse to let Jack go back to the hotel without a few drinks in him at least.

He finds himself dragged to a bar where Tater and Snowy foist a beer on him. Jack sits and wallows in the misery of his shit game alone in an empty booth.

His phone buzzes and his screen lights up with a text from Bitty. “Sorry about that missed goal 😕,” it says. Unbidden, a smile fights its way onto Jack’s face.

“Care to share what's got you smiling like that?” a soft feminine voice says from just over Jack’s shoulder.

Jack startles and slams his phone face down on the table. “Euh, nothing. Sorry, who are you?” Jack turns around slightly to face this stranger and is met with a pretty brunette in skin tight black pants and a shirt that plunges _very_ low. 

“Rachel.” She shoots her hand out for Jack to shake and Jack takes it. “Your friends said I should come say hi to you?” She nods her head over in the direction of Snowy and Tater who stand at the bar and shoot Jack several thumbs up.

“My friends are idiots,” Jack says as he drops Rachel’s hand. 

Rachel takes the seat across from Jack in the booth and leans forward so her shirt drops open even more. “Are you sure?” she asks as she trails her fingers over Jack’s forearm where it rests on the table.

Jack resolutely maintains eye contact with Rachel and says, “Pretty sure.”

“Dance with me? It doesn’t look like your friends are going to get off your case until you dance with me at least.” She smiles kindly at Jack.

Jack glances back at Snowy and Tater once more and finds them making obscene gestures. He sighs heavily and says, “Yeah, you’re probably right.”

Jack dances one dance with Rachel and then tells her he’s headed back to his hotel. She leans up and kisses his cheek before he has a chance to leave. She smiles up at him, squeezes his bicep, and walks off.

  
  


“You hook up with pretty chest shirt girl, Zimmboni?” Tater slurs loudly when he stumbles into their hotel room hours after Jack returned. Tater flops onto his bed and is snoring within seconds.

  
  


Jack ushers a grumpy, loud, and hungover Russian out of their hotel room at 4:50 am to meet with the rest of the team in the lobby. Snowy looks just as hungover as Tater but he shoots Jack a wink and a thumbs up. Jack shakes his head and rolls his eyes. 

  
  


Snowy and Tater drool on each other during the flight to Seattle and Jack occupies himself with a book, _The Martian_ , and Sudoku.

It isn’t until they’ve already landed, and after Jack and Tater have already settled into their new hotel room, that Jack remembers to turn his phone back on. 

“What the fuck?” Jack’s phone buzzes incessantly in his hand and he doesn’t understand why. That is, until he sees that he has over 200 notifications from the SMH group chat. He scrolls up to the top of the new messages and his heart stutters at what he sees. Holster sent a series of grainy pictures of Jack and the girl from the club, Rachel.

* * *

**Samwell Men’s Fucky Team**

**Holster**

Holy shit! Look at my boy go!!

**Nursey**

YO she is HOT

**Shitty**

YESSS MOTHERFUCKING YESSS! Where did you find these pictures?

**Holster**

They’re all over twitter!

**Chowder** changed the name from **Samwell Men’s Flunky Team** to **Samwell Men’s Fucky Team**

**Lardo**

AKLFJELAKJ CHOWDER!

**Chowder**

Nice! Jack!!

What? It’s an appropriate name!

We’re all gonna get laid tomorrow too

**Nursey**

Hell yeah we are!!

* * *

Jack can’t bear to read the rest of the texts. He doesn’t want to read Bitty congratulate him on sex he didn’t even have with some random person who isn’t Bitty. He doesn’t want any more confirmation that Bitty only views their relationship as a casual thing. Jack scrolls to the bottom, types out, “Not that you guys will believe me, but I didn’t sleep with her,” and hits send.

Jack ignores his phone for the rest of the day.

  
  


The following day Jack is suiting up for their game against Seattle when his phone buzzes. Lardo sent a picture of the team and their screw dates gathered in the living room. Bitty’s date settled his hand low on Bitty’s hip and Jack wants to scream. He channels his fury into his hockey and plays some of the roughest hockey of his life.

They win, but it’s a near thing. Jack is too pissed off with himself to enjoy it. Jack has no right to feel so possessive of Bitty and jealous of his Screw date. He and Bitty are very much not dating, but Jack is only now realizing how much he wishes that weren’t the case. He wishes he’d told Holster to fuck off when he was pestering Bitty about Screw. He wishes, that after any one of the many times he and Bitty had had sex, that he’d asked Bitty to be his boyfriend. He wishes he wasn’t a professional athlete. No, he wishes his sport wasn’t homophobic. 

Their flight home is immediately after the game and Jack is grateful to have an excuse to turn his phone off. It’s finally settling just how much of an idiot Jack is, and Jack is realizing that he’s probably been in love with Bitty for at least a year. Jack groans to himself when he remembers his photography project. He’d told himself the subject had been the team, but Bitty was the actual focus. He’d been the focal point of every photo. And now Jack has lost his shot, and Bitty is probably about to fall into bed with his Screw date.

  
  


It’s about 4:30 am when they land. Jack turns his phone back on in his car and finds 3 missed calls and one voicemail from Bitty. Jack's stomach drops and he hesitatingly hits play on the voicemail.

“You sure are a piece of work, Mr. Zimmermann. You know that?” Bitty’s voice wavers from Jack’s phone speakers. He sounds small and hurt. Bitty huffs and sniffles before he continues, “I shouldn’t have called you, but I’m a little tipsy, and I’m angry, and I just can’t _take_ this anymore.

“I kissed Darren, that’s his name, my Screw date. It was real nice, and I would have enjoyed it if you’d—If we’d never… You have _ruined_ me, Jack Zimmermann. You know that?

“Before, when I thought you were… I didn’t like it but at least I knew where we stood. I didn’t carry any hope for anything because I knew that was never gonna happen. And then it _did_ , and now… 

“He invited me back to his dorm room and I wanted to say yes. I wanted _so bad_ to be _able_ to say yes. But I’m not like you Jack. I can’t—I don’t know how you do it. Those _pictures_ , Jack? I… 

“I wanted… For so long I have… ” he shudders in a shaky breath. “I can’t do this anymore, Jack. _Lord_.” 

The call ends on a choked out sob, and Jack can feel his heart breaking. It’s 4:47 am and there is no way Bitty is awake but Jack _needs_ to talk to him. Jack needs to see him; he needs to tell him everything.

Jack starts up his truck and heads down to Samwell. His mind races at a mile a minute with what he’s going to say and how he’s going to fix this. _If_ he can even fix this.

  
  


When he’s five minutes away from the Haus, Jack calls Bitty. It goes to voicemail and Jack tries again, and again, and again. Jack will call as many times as he as to until—

“Hello?” Bitty groggily picks up the other end.

“Bits,” Jack says his name breathlessly and soaked with hope.

“Jack? Why are you—Oh. Did you get my voicemail? Lord, I was drunk, Jack, just ignore it.”

“I can’t, Bits. Let me in.”

“Let you… Jack, are you, are you here?”

“I’m walking up to the Haus right now. Bits, please,” Jack begs.

When he opens the door, Bitty is sleep rumpled, his hair is wild, his eyes are red rimmed, and he worries his bottom lip between his teeth. Bitty hangs up and lowers his phone. “Jack?” He shakes his head in disbelief. “Why did you come all the way here?” 

“I think we both might have assumed things about each other that we shouldn’t have, and I—” Jack turns his head to the side and blinks back a few tears. “Can we talk? Please?”

Bitty nods and heads back up to his room. Jack follows close behind.

Jack quietly shuts Bitty’s door once they’ve made it up to his room. Bitty stands at his desk and fiddles with a few papers and pencils that sit atop it. “I don’t really remember everything I said,” he tells Jack.

“Okay. You don’t have to talk, but will you listen?” Jack asks.

Bitty nods but continues to face his desk and move things around, organizing and reorganizing the things on his desk.

“I’m not always the most in tune with my emotions. Or others’, for that matter.

“You know, Camilla and I dated for about a month?”

Bitty huffs and glances over his shoulder slightly. Jack can just make out the irritation on his face.

“I swear it’s relevant. I’m sorry.

“Camilla and I had dated for about a month, but I didn’t realize we’d been dating until _after_ she broke up with me.”

Bitty sighs and says, “Jack, what are you trying to say?”

“I’m saying, I’m an idiot. And sometimes, sometimes I date people without realizing it because I’m too oblivious to my own feelings. I wish I had told Holster to fuck off, and leave you alone about Winter Screw.”

“That’s what I wanted you to do,” Bitty says in a small voice.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know that. You hadn’t said anything to me about Winter Screw, but I had assumed you’d be going anyway. I assumed you would go with someone, but you wouldn’t sleep with him or anything.”

“Then why did you say—Why did you tell me I could?” Bitty stares indignantly up at Jack.

“You were asking for permission Bitty!" Jack struggles to keep his voice down. "I thought it was what you wanted! And I realized we had never made things exclusive or defined anything, and I thought, _I thought_ , ‘You really have no right staking any sort of claim on Bittle if he doesn’t want you.’ So, I told you it was fine, but that was a lie.” 

“Then why did you sleep with that girl?!” Bitty whips around and whisper shouts at Jack. He looks pissed, and tears silently stream down his face.

“I didn’t,” Jack responds in a small voice. “I said I didn’t as soon as I saw the texts.”

“Why would I buy that, Jack? None of the guys bought it! Why didn’t you explain it to me privately?”

“I thought—I thought you viewed this as something casual. I didn’t want to explain myself to you, only to have you tell me that you don’t care what I do.”

“You really thought I didn’t care?” Bitty asks in a broken voice.

Jack nods.

  
“Do you care that I kissed Darren?”

Jack shuts his eyes and nods again.

“I wanted to sleep with him.”

Jack winces at this statement.

“I mean, I wanted to _want_ to sleep with him. I wanted to be able to make you jealous, and I wanted to just not, _Lord_ , feel so much about you.”

“You made me jealous.”

“You made me jealous too, with that girl.”

“That was unintentional. Snowy and Tater dragged me out to that bar because they noticed I was not in a good mood, to say the least. I danced one dance with her, I told her I was leaving, and she kissed my cheek before I could get away.”

“Was it my fault? Your bad mood?”

“... Yes.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. I was an idiot. I was so content with the way things were, and what we had, that I didn’t even realize that we hadn’t established anything. I know you said you can’t do this anymore, but I can’t _not_ do this.”

“Jack what we were doing—it was—I thought it was enough for me, and it was. For a time. But now,” Bitty shakes his head and closes his eyes, “I’ve realized that’s not enough for me; it won’t ever be enough for me.”

Jack swallows audibly. “Ah, fuck,” he says softly. Tears prick at his eyes, and he swallows hard again. He attempts to hold back his tears, but a few fall anyway. “So, you’re done then?”

Bitty is openly crying. He nods at Jack.

“So you don’t want”—Jack stares up at the ceiling and inhales deeply—“you don’t want to be my boyfriend?”

Bitty’s hands wrap around Jack’s biceps and Bitty asks, “What are you talking about Jack?”

“This? You and me? You’re done with it? You don’t want to continue it anymore?”

“Jack, I cannot continue with you the way things were. I can’t just be your fuck buddy.”

“You were never _just_ anything,” Jack whispers reverently. His eyes bore into Bitty’s, and Jack’s hand lifts up to brush the tears off Bitty’s face. “You’re _everything_ , Bitty.”

Bitty leans forward and sobs deep, shuddering breaths into Jack’s chest. “That’s so much worse,” he says.

Jack stiffens and croaks out, “Why?”

“What difference would there be between the arrangement we had before and us dating?”

“None.”

“Exactly, Jack.”

“Why is that a bad thing?”

“Because I don’t want to hide you, but I’m a liability for you. You trended for almost an entire day because someone got a few pictures of you dancing with some random girl. What would happen if someone got pictures of you and me?”

Jack presses his head down against Bitty’s shoulder and inhales shakily. “That doesn’t matter,” he says after a few breaths.

Bitty laughs bitterly, “I could ruin your entire career, everything you’ve worked for, and all you have to say is, ‘That doesn’t matter?’”

“I don’t think you understand how much you mean to me, Bittle. I used to think I needed hockey like I need air, but I lost hockey once, and I survived it. I can’t lose you, Bitty. _That_ , I would not survive.”

“What are you saying?” Bitty asks in a small voice.

“I _need_ you. I _love_ you. Please don’t ask me to try and live without you.”

Bitty surges up and catches Jack’s lips with his own. They devour each other for a small eternity. Tears stream down both their faces. 

“You love me?” Bitty tentatively asks when they separate for air.

Jack nods and says, “I’m sorry if it’s too much. I—”

“Jack Zimmermann, _you_ are too much,” Bitty interrupts. “Lord, I’ve been loving you for so, _so_ long.”

“You have?” Jack asks as hope sparks in his heart.

Bitty leans back and nods up at Jack. He smiles slightly at Jack for a moment until worry crosses Bitty’s face and he asks, “What are we gonna do, Jack?”

* * *

**Samwell Men’s Homo Team**

**You** changed the name from **Samwell Men’s Fucky Team** to **Samwell Men’s Homo Team**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The rest of the story follows canon.
> 
> Please don’t hate Rachel! I like her! I think she’s probably very nice. She’s bi and she saw Jack sitting alone, and his friends said he needed some cheering up. And while she totally would have been down to fuck, she can take a hint. She knew Jack wasn’t into her, but she still thought she might be able to cheer him up with a dance, or, at the very least, help him get his friends off his back.
> 
> I struggled with deciding between ending the fic with just Jack changing the group text name or also including everyone’s reactions to the name change for an uplifting endnote. I will add their reactions in a separate chapter.
> 
> Samwell Men’s Hunky Team—Nursey’s invention.
> 
> Samwell Men’s Flunky Team—Holster, because of impending finals.
> 
> Samwell Men’s Fucky Team—Try as Bitty might to deny it, Chowder fucks, man.
> 
> Samwell Men’s Homo Team—And Jack is feeling homosexuality in this Chili’s tonight
> 
> Oh, yes, Lardo was 100% serious about buying Jack thongs. She has to special order them. They are all varying shades of blue. Bitty loves them.
> 
> Oof, lads, third person limited is hard!
> 
> I wanted to write Bitty’s perspective so many times. I had to restrain myself. Bitty’s perspective is definitely sadder because he actually knows he’s in love with Jack when they start fucking.
> 
> Uhh, verse!jack and bitty rights?
> 
> Rejected title: Puck Bunnies, Thongs, and Apricot Kisses
> 
> I had to google shit about hockey for this fic. Leave me a comment for my effort TT_TT
> 
> You are legally obligated to leave me a comment if you notice the Easter egg in the fic.
> 
> I think I rated this correctly, but if you think it should be rated explicit let me know and I will bump up the rated.
> 
> Find me on Tumblr at [thefiveboxingwizards](https://thefiveboxingwizards.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Give my [post](https://thefiveboxingwizards.tumblr.com/post/617749068875218944/apricot-kisses-thefiveboxingwizards-check) about this fic a reblog if you enjoyed it! :)


	2. Samwell Men's Homo Team-Extra

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Adding this as an extra because I couldn't not include it in the story, but I didn't think it fit with the main story.

**Samwell Men’s Homo Team**

**You** changed the name from  **Samwell Men’s Fucky Team** to  **Samwell Men’s Homo Team**

**Shitty**

Rise and shine you hungover motherfuckers! How was your screw? Did Bitty get laid last night or does Holster have to eat his shoe?

Oh shit. That’s a new name.

Jacky?

**Holster**

Bitty better have gotten laid! Holster and I worked our asses off for that date!

OH SHIT. That IS a new name

**Chowder**

We love you Jack!

**Lardo**

I think in a short while you’ll probably be able to tell Jack that in person

**Nursey**

What on earth does that mean?

**Lardo**

It means I saw a familiar truck parked about a block away from the Haus on my way to the art studio this morning

I suspect he’s still asleep right now

**Chowder**

Jack is here?!

Who let him in the Haus?

**Lardo**

Gee, I wonder who let Mr. Samwell Men’s Homo Team in the Haus…

**Dex**

Are Jack and Bitty dating?

**Holster**

No. No! Jack helped me convince Bitty to go to Screw!

Why would he do that if they were dating?

**Nursey**

Jack is clearly trying to tell us something 

And he’s not being subtle about it!

**Holster**

Yes, obviously, Jack is bi? Gay? Not straight.

But he cannot be dating Bitty because Bitty needs to have gotten laid last night! MY SHOE IS ON THE LINE HERE!

**Dex**

Maybe he did get laid last night…

**Lardo**

Jack’s flight wouldn’t have come in until this morning.

**Holster**

AS LONG AS THE SUN HADN’T RISEN THAT STILL COUNTS!

**Ransom**

Doesn’t Bitty have to sleep with his Screw date?

Also, sorry Holtzy. Hundy-ten percent on the Jack and Bitty are dating train

**Holster**

Okay I scrolled back up and found my text “If Bitty doesn’t get laid I will eat my fucking shoe!” So as long as he got laid before the sun comes up, I don’t have to eat my shoe! I never said his Screw date had to be the one to fuck him!

**Bittle**

Sorry Holster. I did not get laid last night!

**Holster**

NOOOOOOO

Jack Zimmermann I’m gonna kill you!

WHAT THE FUCK GIVES BITS????

**Bittle**

I’m afraid I don’t know what you’re talking about.

**Ransom**

Uhuh. Do you expect us to believe Lardo mistook someone else’s truck for Jack’s or that Jack is hiding out in Chowder’s room right now? Because I’m downstairs getting coffee and Jack is nowhere to be seen. And we know Mr. Samwell Men’s Homo Team isn’t in Lardo’s room. Chowder did you and Farmer have a threesome with Jack this morning?

**Chowder**

NO!

I haven’t seen Jack in person since he came to our game!

**Shitty**

Bits, how long have you and Jack been dating?

**Bittle**

We were gonna wait until everyone was up to talk about it over breakfast. Officially, it’s only been 3 hours.

**Shitty**

I call bullshit

**Ransom**

Hard agree

**Lardo**

Yeah thats bullshit bits

**Bittle**

Jaklfjaelkfj it’s not tho???

**Lardo**

Then why were you spending so much time at Jacks?

**Bittle**

We weren’t dating!

**Lardo**

You weren’t dating but you were constantly over at his… 

HOLY FUCKING SHIT

BITTY

BITTYYY!!! ARE YOU JACKS

HOLY FUCK YOU ARE

BITTY IS JACKS PUCK BUNNY

JACKS HALLOWEEN HOOKUP!!!!!

**Nursey**

Dude

Dude! You weren’t wearing any underwear???

**Lardo**

OH THAT COY MF

ALL TIGHT LIPPED ABOUT WHO HE SLEPT WITH UNTIL YOU ASK HIM IF HE SLEPT WITH A PUCK BUNNY

**Holster**

Holy fuck

Why didn’t we put two and two together?

And you even caught Bitty on his walk of shame Lardo!

**Dex**

French tutoring

**Ransom**

FUCKING FRENCH TUTORING! 

At least it was a more believable excuse than library pie

**Chowder**

Did Bitty spend the entire Halloween party without underwear on?

**Lardo**

Would not surprise me. Those shorts were miniscule.

Man fuck this painting I’m going back to the Haus.

**Shitty**

They both basically fucking told us and we were too stupid to get it

Bitty are you making breakfast? Can I come over?

**Chowder**

You are always welcome at the Haus Shitty!

**Shitty**

Aw thanks Chowder!

**Nursey**

Fuck dining hall brunch! OMW

You coming Poindexter?

**Dex**

Yeah, yeah

**Jack**

Sorry about your shoe Holster.

Even if the sun hadn’t already risen by the time we were done talking, we were both too tired to do anything but sleep.

**Holster**

You couldn’t fuck first talk later???

**Jack**

No. That’s how we got into this mess

**Ransom**

So did this start on Halloween???

**Jack**

No.

Why are we still texting?

**Shitty**

Wait don’t leave!

Don’t share any deets until I get there!!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I also wrote a version of this text convo where Ollie and Wicks were in the group chat it went something like this:
> 
> You changed the name from Samwell Men’s Fucky Team to Samwell Men’s Homo Team
> 
> Ollie?  
> Finally some recognition!
> 
> Nursey  
> Lol. Are you gay?
> 
> Ollie?  
> I’m literally dating Ollie????
> 
> Ransom  
> You and ollie are dating???!!!  
> Since when??
> 
> Wicky???  
> Since the Taddy Tour??
> 
> Dex  
> Is no one going to mention the fact that Jack was the one who changed the name?
> 
> I had to cut it because I figured the only group text that Jack would be involved with would only include his core group.
> 
> Find me on Tumblr at [thefiveboxingwizards](https://thefiveboxingwizards.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Give my [post](https://thefiveboxingwizards.tumblr.com/post/617749068875218944/apricot-kisses-thefiveboxingwizards-check) about this fic a reblog if you enjoyed it! :)


End file.
